El renacimiento de la vida

2006-02-10T15:04:00.000-08:00

Ok, I have a new blog! www.emfspanish.voxtropolis.com Go there to read my stuff! Thanks.

Willing or Weak?

2006-01-07T08:09:00.000-08:00

It scares me how greatly my earthly body wants to know that life will have cushions and pillows, and I’ll be propped up and pampered, without having to lift a finger. The more I think that that sounds like “the good life”, the less good is sounds, and the lazier it seems to me. Last night, Nathan shared his heart for ministry with me, like he has done in the past, but for some reason, I had a flesh reaction instead of a spirit reaction, and I was not at all nice like I should have been. In my mind, it would be the ultimate life to let him go to work and “bring home the bacon”, and for me to be a stay home mom, with nothing to worry about but the kids and the house and helping Nathan with his ministry. But in order for that to become reality, there’s a possibility that Nathan would have to ask for more money for his salary, money that does not belong to us, but to the church and to ministry opportunities. My flesh doesn’t like it, but my spirit resoundingly says, YES. This is right. There is no need to rob the church of their money when you are called to be a minister of the gospel. There is no reason that a minister should be paid $100,000 yearly. There are other ministries where that money is more needed. If Father Tim in Mitford (my newest favorite hero of the faith) can do it, we can too!

Freshness

2006-01-02T13:52:00.000-08:00

After the dust storm that brought in the new year yesterday, today was an invigoratingly fresh day that the Lord used to bless West Texas. After spending the morning running "car" errands, I came home and began to straighten my house. As I was in the process, I realized that the sun was shining, there was a slight breeze, and so I opened every window in the house, turned the thermostat off, and allowed the breeze to circle through my house and bring in a fresh breath of life. Once I was done cleaning, I sat down to read and enjoy my front living room. What an indescribable luxury! I felt truly blessed that I had the day off and the opportunity to enjoy such a moment to begin this new year.

Sleepy Saturday Morning

2005-12-10T13:08:00.000-08:00

This has been one of the most relaxing saturday mornings that I have had in a long time. During the past month, our weekends have been jammed with 1) a wedding, 2) going to see the seminary in Forth Worth and our friends in Arlington and Dallas, 3) Thanksgiving, 4) visit from the in-laws!!! After 4 weeks of little rest on a weekend, I hit what is called a saturation point, and became very tired and frustrated with my job. I became irritable at home, snapped at my students and husband, and then my body gave out and I got sick. I understand why the Lord gave us a day of rest each week - WE NEED IT!

After missing two days of work, and a whole lot of sleep, I am feeling much better. Colors are brighter, the sun is shinier, the puppy is cuter, and my husband is sweeter and more wonderful than ever! We are going to eat some yummy enchiladas tonight with some good friends, and then we're off to see Narnia! I am so excited, it is going to be GOOD! Last night, I saw Harry Potter for the first time. I hear rumors that the author is a Christian, but she is keeping her faith hidden so that she can bring her stories to a surprising close of some sort. I'm not sure how she's going to do that, but if she can do something brilliant with the stories, I'm all for that kind of plot twist.

I can't update my blog from work, so be patient with me, I'll update when I can at home. This week, all my evening blog time will be taken over by the Journey's crazy Christmas rush week! That's my new name for this week. The Rush to hang out before Christmas comes! Pray that the time spent at the Fox and Hound will be fruitful! Over and out.

The Altar to the Coffee Bar

2005-12-04T18:06:00.000-08:00

“The church has forgotten what it means to equip the Christian mind. It is more concerned with putting on productions than putting out disciples. The end result is a bunch of whiney adults who don’t like the way the power-point presentation looked last week, or complain that the coffee bar needs to have more flavors to choose from. We have successfully dumbed down the Word of God. Intimacy with the Almighty is not something we strive for anymore. We scream “Relevance!” and sacrifice the minds Christ has given us.” (http://www.relevantmagazine.com/pc_article.php?id=7075)

Oh wow, what a powerful statement! Why can’t Christians see the box that they have placed themselves in! Today, my heart is burning in sadness for the American Church, the “pizza party, and cool band church” that I grew up in and thought was “all that.” How true is it that we try so hard to put on a production that we fail to make disciples, which is one of our first and most important callings as Christians. Did our multi-thousand dollar coffee bar not quite serve up the coffee to par this week? GET RID OF IT. Strip away the excessive junk that our contemporary churches are full of and shift the focus. When we build our churches to serve man, and only focus on pleasing man, we will fail every time. The focus needs to be one the Lord. There should be no mistake on who we are trying to please, no doubt in our mission, and no foggy thoughts in our brains on our purpose in life. We are on a mission, and the people around are too precious to sacrifice to the altar of the coffee bar.

Christmas Card

2005-11-28T17:55:00.000-08:00

Here's this year's Christmas Card from the Futrell family. If you are getting one in the mail, I'm sorry to ruin the surprise. Love to all!

Beyond our Borders

2005-11-28T17:46:00.000-08:00

The redemption of man is a constant plea coming from the lips of those who do not know Christ. Reflecting on Thanksgiving break with my family, I am reminded of the changing times and my place in God’s plan. On the way to the lake, Nathan and I had a chance to share what the Lord has placed on our hearts with my grandparents. We told them about how the church is trying to reach younger generations with the same methods that they used to reach my grandparent’s generation, and that this is failing. My grandparents understood. They see the need for change in the church, though they obviously didn’t understand or see how that could be done. At least they get it. My parents are a different story. They are just close enough to our generation, and they are situated in a pretty charismatic church that makes them think that the church is doing a good job reaching people. Maybe their church is an exception, but they just don’t see what’s on our hearts and minds as we travel into the Journey and beyond the borders that traditional churches have created. This week, I am thankful for Nathan, and the passion for the Lord that is in his heart. He is constantly thinking about how to further the kingdom of God, and for that I am thankful. Though my parents do not see, hear, or understand everything that he is talking about, I know that one day they just might be able to grasp this concept of reaching beyond our self-imposed borders into the world around us. This Monday morning, I am excited that I am a part of a movement that the Lord has put into place to reach those on the fringe, those who may never be reached by a traditional church. The Lord is not through with us, but He is only beginning to work in and through us to make Himself known.

Lord, Inspire me!

2005-11-16T13:19:00.000-08:00

This week has seemed a happy blur. Last weekend, our dear friends Marcus and Katlyn Pedroza tied the knot! Their wedding was a blast, combining the traditional with the contemporary, and getting a bunch of Baptists to kick up their heels and enjoy dancing together. Nathan was a completely silly that night, and we had fun dancing together for one of the first times. We had danced before, but not really. This was just silliness. I wouldn’t have traded Nathan’s and my quiet wedding for anything, but this was a just plain fun wedding. I pray blessings on the two of them as they travel and begin to learn how have life together works this week.

I need some inspiration. Life has inspired me to be better this week, but I am having trouble being motivated to spend lots of time with the Lord. Honestly, I find a million other things to do in the moments when I have free time, which is only from about 5:30-9 at night. It seems almost impossible to squeeze in time to spend in the Word. And my spirit and soul are feeling the lag that comes with this. Please pray for me that I will find the dedication and motivation to enrich my soul with the Word when I am tired and want to do nothing that occupies my mind. My life needs this. My students need me to find that time. My husband definitely needs me to feed my spirit. One moment in the Word and prayer a week is definitely not enough for me to make it. I need daily time, daily quiet, daily feedings for my dry and weary soul. Pray for me, and Lord, inspire me.

El Camino Mío

2005-11-01T21:15:00.000-08:00

Es una cosa curiosa que nunca tengo tiempo para escribir, y entonces mi esposo me demanda un blog nuevo porque quiere saber mis pensamientos. Es una cosa bonita y bien curiosa que él me ama tanto que me pide escribir. Esto es para ti, Nathan.

Lamesa me deprime, me cansa, me da apatía y me entristece. El pueblo es muy deprimido y triste, y la gente vive en un mundo sin esperanza. Me encontré hoy con uno de mis colegas, quien me dijo que yo aparecía vieja porque yo fruncía el ceño. Yo no me daba cuenta de que estaba dando la impresión de ser desinteresado en mi trabajo. Realmente, me encantan mis estudiantes, me interesan mucho, pero hay unos que me cansan por su falta de deseo de ser estudiante. Los rebeldes que no quieren que yo les influya, ni quieren mejorar sus vidas.

Hasta mi esposo, todos se han notado una diferencia en mí. No sé si soy yo quien tenga que cambiar las cosas, o si tengo que esperar hasta que no esté viajando tanto para trabajar en circunstancias malas. Me alegra que las vacaciones vengan pronto.

Mi club de español y unos estudiantes estupendos me dan las fuerzas para continuar allá. Ellos son mi razón de enseñar y son la brilla en muchos días oscuros. Ellos y el Señor, quien me guía por todos mis senderos y me da luz para el camino. Anoche, empecé a leer Hechos de nuevo y aprendí unas cosas nuevas. Pienso continuar en este estudio para un tiempo. Me parece que hace mucho tiempo que el Señor me habló, y a veces siento un poco alejada de su presencia. Pero este fin de semana pasada, me sentía bien utilizada por Su reino, porque teníamos una cena en mi casa. Invitamos a unas parejas nuevas, y en total, estábamos doce. Invité a mis vecinos y ellos aceptaron precipitadamente, algo que me alegró y me dio fuerzas para permanecer en esta lucha contra apatía en mi vida y en mi camino con el Señor. Gracias Señor por darme la oportunidad de ser una influencia cristiana en la vida de la gente que quiere ser suya. Úsame para Su voluntad, ni importa mi vida, porque es suya. Gracias.

2005-11-01T19:42:00.000-08:00

Favorite Wedding Picture!

2005-11-01T19:40:00.000-08:00

Favorite Wedding Pics.

2005-11-01T19:38:00.000-08:00

The Honeymoon!

Las Cositas Mias

2005-10-21T15:52:00.000-07:00

Ok, here's some random thing about me that I stole from Katlyn. I needed this today to get my mind off of my job!

Random stuff about me
Last car ride: Just now, driving home from a long day in Lamesa
Last good cry: Whenever the last time I was made was
Last beverage drank: iced teach from Lost Texan
Last food consumed: A chocolate cupcake
Last crush: Nathan
Last phone call: Christy about Friday night Plans
Last items bought: Lunch for 5
Last annoyance: 7th period!
Last shirt worn: raider red sweatshirt
Last website: Lamesa ISD
Last word/s you said: ok, talk to you later, bye
Last song you sang: tech fight song
What color socks are you wearing? black
What's under your bed? a pillow
What time did you wake up today? 5:27am

FUTURE
Where do you want to go? wherever
What is your career going to be? teaching
Where are you going to live? uncertain
How many kids do you want? scary thought
What kind of car(s): family!

CURRENT
Current mood: blah
Current music: Classical radio
Current taste: chocolate frosting!
Current hair: ponytail
Current clothes: black pants, red top, no jewelery but my ring
Current annoyance(s): freshmen
Current book: Stolen Lives

UNIQUE
Nervous Habits? playing with my ring
Are you double jointed? no
Can you roll your tongue? kinda
Can you raise one eyebrow at a time? si
Can you blow spit bubble? no
Can you cross your eyes? kinda
Tattoos? nope
Piercings and where? ears
Do you make your bed daily? no, my husband's good at that

CLOTHES
Which shoe goes on first? the right one
Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? the dog when he chewed it
On the average, how much money do you carry in your wallet? about 10 dollars
Jewelry do you wear 24/7? I don't even wear my wedding ring 24/7, it gets in the way
Favorite piece of clothing? flannel pants

FOOD
Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? twirl
Have you ever eaten Spam? They tried to get me to in Hawaii - GROSS
Favorite ice cream flavor? depends on my day, sometimes chocolate anything, sometimes cherry
How many kinds cereal are in your cabinet? maybe one
What's your favorite beverage? diet coke
What's your favorite restaurant? anything mexican
Do you cook? YES!!! But I never have time
How often do you brush your teeth? morning and night at least
Hair drying method? air dry while sleeping on it! I don't have time for drying hair
Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair? gross blonde (orange) highlights in college

MANNERS
Do you swear? no
Do you ever spit? NO!

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE
Animal? dolphins!
Food? mexican and chinese!
Month? February - birthday and V-Day
Day? Mondays-my students are sleepy all day
Favorite Cartoon Character? Wallace and G
Subject in school? Spanish DUH!
Colors? red, blue, yellow - pretty basic
Sport? Basketball
TV show? Law and Order, Seinfeld

La Paz

2005-09-24T07:25:00.000-07:00

There is a peace that our souls seek. I encounter a world of turmoil in every direction that I face and I am troubled by the lack of peace that I see. This week, I found myself wanting to escape all the people that surrounded me at school and at home, just to have a moment of the still quiteness that comes with peace. My students concern me, because they seemingly thrive on picking on each other, an action that creates an atmosphere of unrest in my classroom. I found myself appalled by their incesant desire to pick, pick, pick this week, and it made me very irritated. They are quick to speak words of discouragement to each other, and constantly ready to fight their way out of the holes that they keep digging for themselves. There was one day that I just wanted to leave them where they were, and seek out a place of peace to escape the unrest of the high school. Today, I am going to seek out a peaceful place to allow my soul a place to rest and be restored by the almighty. My soul needs moments like these, and I have found myself starving it of this in the past few weeks. Peace. We seek to be at peace with the Lord, in our souls, and with everyone around us. Lord, grant me a moment of quiet rest and restore me today.

Bendiciones

2005-09-08T19:12:00.000-07:00

Today was one of the craziest days I ever had and lived to tell about it. Short story - My students made me really mad! They didn't come to class prepared, they didn't remember me telling them to be prepared, and they didn't even care. I found myself lecturing 3rd period, and in the middle of it, caught myself, realized that they are only kids, and then tried to remember how to love them. I hope that my true intentions came through! I had my first parent teacher conference today, and I think that it went really well. The parent left happy, and I think she was just relieved that I wasn't an ugly ogre-woman that was about to eat her son alive. She seemed pleased to see that I am an actual human being who cares, and she is prepared to pass that information along to her son.
Also today, I found myself needing to call a few parents, and I did so this evening. Yesterday, I had written down the number for a student who was not performing well in my class. I was prepared to call his parents with the grim news that he was not participating, his scores were low, and that he is going to fail this six-weeks period. However, I received a quiz from this young man today in which he scored a 100, while the rest of his class was failing. So, when I called the parent, my first though was to tell her that he did a really good job today and that I was proud of him. I think she almost cried, and so did I, and so did Nathan in the other room, eavesdropping in on my conversation. His comment was, "That could have been the comment that changes that young man's life forever." And it could be. We never know what potential we have for influence on people's lives untill we are placed in the fire and we allow the Lord to guide us onto paths that we could not possibly find on our own strength. Lord, thank you for giving me the strength to make it through this day and for showing me the words that I needed to say to bless a mother or two's heart.

El Huracán

2005-09-06T19:25:00.000-07:00

Some days I wonder if the Lord is trying to get through to us and we respond by refusing to listen. In the past week, Hurricane Katrina has devastated an entire nation, only a few years after the september 11 bombings and yet we still harden our hearts and fail to dig deeper into the real reason that we live and breath the same air with everyone around us. I am tired. Yes, I am physically tired by an energy draining job, but more so my spirit is exhausted by the apathy that I see in the Christian people around me. I see believers who almost refuse to surrender their all to their Lord, and all in the name of self-interest and self-glory. Now, this may seem an unnatural ranting, but it's true, there are too many Christians in these United States of America that call themselves believers, but their lives have nothing to show for it. When are we going to stand up, dig deeper into the true meaning of Christianity and die to ourselves daily so that others may see what Jesus is all about. Instead, we are complacent with fulfilling the estatus-quo and living in the rotting cesspool of mediocrity. I am tired of this, I am tired of in it my life, and I urge the rest of you to find yourselves tired of it as well, and to stand up, dig a little deeper and walk much stronger. When you share the Lord with the other believers, share it with a vengeance, dig deeper, prepare well, and never speak with hesitance. Share your Jesus like you mean it.
On the other hand, I am encouraged. I live the majority of my days in the middle of a forsaken battle ground that is known as high school. There, I fight the daily battle for discipline in the lives of my students, and meet their resistance with more than my poor students ever bargained for. They are at that school because the government says that they must, and I am there to give them a fighting chance at life, a free education, and a sense of security and peace in their very unstable little lives. These kids are fighters. Well, some aren't, but most are and today they proved to me that my work there is a good thing. For the first time in these three weeks, I had an absolutely amazing day. Everyone came to school ready to fight, and they all won the battle within my classroom. All of them were ready for the work that I prepared for them, and they all seemed to have one of those "aha" moments in which the lightbulb goes off and they see that everything leading up to this one day has been for a purpose. I felt success. I felt victory. Tomorrow I pray for the same.

Mi autoridad sobre los niños

2005-08-25T19:24:00.000-07:00

I had an undesirable moment yesterday, and I´m afraid that it only became ugly for the student that I was teaching. Short story - i corrected a moment of bad behavior, and the student refused correction. Long story, i had to write a pink slip after talking with Mr. Hewitt about the problem, and then had to call his parents, and now he´s in In School Suspension for 20 days, and I didn´t even go see him today because I didn´t realize he was there until 7th period. I realized today the amount of power my words have on my students, and the authority that I could choose to either use or abuse. I cried last night thinking about the kid, wondering if my conference with his dad resulted in good or bad at home. His dad was clueless about his son´s life, he didn´t know whether he had passed the grade he was in last year or not. I hope that my student is not in that punishment because of me, but because of other circumstances as well. I hope that he is not making some sort of hit list with me at the top . . . And I found myself worrying today with no need. This evening, as we talked about the journey that our life is taking, I realized even more than ever that I am placed where I am, in Lamesa Texas for a very definite reason. Even if it is to influence one student in my 7th period, snotty nosed, loud and desperately needy class. My prayer today is that I will have the strength to make it to that class every day and teach it with a purpose, with love, and with grace and mercy behind my actions every step of the way.

School Daze

2005-08-23T21:02:00.000-07:00

Returning to high school was something that I seriously hoped I would never do, and now have chosen to do. This week, I began my first week of public high school. I grew up in private school, safe and sheltered from the danger zone of the big public schools in town, and I never knew the struggles that my public school friends had to face in high school. My new status as teacher brings to me a closer view into the lives of my students, a view that I did not think could exist. I sit and listen to my students as they talk amongst themselves, and am amazed by their lives. There are many young girls who either have children or are pregnant in our school, and they face the grown up world much sooner than any of them would like. Some live in abusive situations, some are married, some have police officers and school officials escort them to class, occasionally joining them for the hour, so that the teacher can focus on their main job - teaching. Other students are small, quiet and so intimidated by the others that they can't think about their schoolwork for fear of being seen by the others and being included in their less-than-desirable world. The small minority of these students have the background and stability to be able to focus on school and purposefully succeed. In this setting, these students face so many obstacles that shout out to them that they are losers, that they aren't worth anything, and that they will never succeed. I think it is my calling to teach these students that they are valuable, both to me and to society. They need to see that they were created for a purpose, not just to wallow in the filth that life handed them. I am called to help them do so, if only by asking excellence from them in my classroom. Hopefully, I can help them make excellence a way of life.
It's only the second day of school and already I'm returning home with a glazed look on my face, and little strength to muster up the courage to smile and treat my husband as he deserved to be treated. I pray for strength. I pray for courage to face the year before me, and I pray for forgiveness and grace where I fail everyone who steps in my path. God give me the strength, give me the courage, grant me the grace to love even in the most difficult circumstances. Thank you for giving me that this far.

Ponderings of the beginning of a new life.

2005-08-03T13:45:00.000-07:00

The Ponderings of my husband the Pilgrim have inspired me to create my own personal web log to record my thoughts and share them with those who so desire to read them. It's been two months since we married, and there are many new and fresh aspects to life since we made this commitment. I've titled my blog El renacimiento de la vida, or the rebirth of a life. This title is a double entendre in that it refers to my "new" life as a newlywed, but also to the new life that I will find being a first year high school teacher. The most important facet of this title though, is that it refers to me as a "born-again" Christian, and the life that I strive to lead in an honest effort to be different than I was before.